Introspection: Coming Home to Myself

By definition, introspection is the examination and observation of one's own mental and emotional processes. In reality, it is a skill that many never intentionally invest in, never practice deliberately, or give the time it requires. I am one of those people, and though it is difficult to admit, I am learning that my inability to process my own depth has stolen wholeness from me. 

I have excelled at abandoning myself, and I couldn't recognize that.

I have experienced traumas that left me with shame, self-doubt, and fear that clung to me like heavy garments. For years, I wore them silently, believing they were simply who I was. Now, I am giving myself grace as I grow through this. Growth, as I have learned, is not linear. It is messy. It is complicated. It is overwhelming at times. But it is also tender, breathtaking, and necessary. Growth is relief. I believe I have the capacity to explore this journey of self-discovery fully, and I am committed to developing this skill of looking inward. I want to fully know, accept and love myself. 

I am afraid. I will do this scared.

One of the greatest gifts of this season has been the presence of a friend who holds up a mirror for me. They are perceptive and patient, able to hold space for me without judgment while I untangle the threads of my own mind. They educate me without shaming me for not knowing, so I am never made to feel small or foolish. Their presence inspires me to become more self-aware, to uncover boundaries that nurture my mental health, and to practice kindness toward myself. This friendship has been nothing short of healing.

On this path to self-discovery, they have gently pointed out habits I wasn’t fully aware of; patterns I repeated, blind spots that clouded my vision. I have always cared deeply about the needs of others, often so much that I lose sight of my own. Other times, I get so stuck in my head with anxiety that I drown others out. Having someone reflect those habits back to me has been uncomfortable at times, but it has also been liberating. It has given me the chance to pause, examine, and ask: What is really happening here? 

Is this serving me, or is it hurting me? Is this hurting others?

Introspection is not perfection. It is practice. Introspection teaches me to trace the roots of my habits, to see what has been feeding them and whether the soil can sustain growth. It is pausing long enough to ask the hard questions and soft enough to accept the answers. And in that pause, in that quiet turning inward, I am learning not just who I am, but who I have the capacity to become. Some truths bloom quickly, others lie dormant under the frost, waiting for me to be ready to see them.

This will be a long journey but every time I look inward with honesty, I come home to myself. And perhaps that is the truest definition of growth.